- ten years of sex (sorry to disappoint my fan base)
- six years of blogging (personal, both publicly and private, and job-related
- several broken hearts (on both sides, for what is worth)
- a couple of one-night stands (not even that remarkable)
- two drunken episodes I am not proud of but wrote about here for posterity (and for posterior kicking, to be sure)
- a brief but intense flirt with suicide
- and one gorgeous, loving, smart kid I get the feeling I'm letting down way too often, but who saves my life everyday
They say it's not healthy dwelling in the past, but I say it's good to remember ALL of it, good and bad, at least as an attempt to avoid making the same mistakes over and over. I have a good memory. I keep my memories in tiny little jars I sometimes take out and open. Some are bitter, some are sweet but they are mine and I take whatever life throws at me with a smile.
1999 - He was a Libra. So was I. He was into car racing. So was I. His friends loved me. I loved his friends. He wanted to settle down. I wasn't ready. He loved me enough to beg me to stay. I didn't love him enough to accept that. Or maybe I did...
2001 - He was a long haired guy. I was into long haired guys. He seemed edgy. I felt kinda edgy myself. He was Micky and I was Mallory. He hated flying yet he loved me enough to come all the way here for me. I loved that, but I was soon going to regret it. He unleashed the anger against the people who loved him. Love doesn't always conquer all.
2003 - He had a funny Jamaican accent. I was a sucker for that funny Jamaican accent. He had a cheating ex girlfriend that he was still a sucker for. I was a sucker for a while. He told me he had nothing to give. It bothered me he couldn't even give regards... He was a lying mofo playing the field in my absence. So I decided to make my absence more permanent.
2004-2005 - He was beyond everything else married. Forbidden fruit. Off limits. Which is a shame, because he was also smart and entertaining - in more ways than one.
2006 - I was into rock music. So was he. I was watching cartoons. So was he. I was pretty much a geek. He was a pretty geek. I was living with my mom. He was living with his mom. I was hooked on him. He was hooked on something else.
2007 - He was an older pal. I was still not completely over 2006. He was too serious to enjoy a joke. I was seriously not enjoying this joke. He had issues (but who am I to talk about having issues?). He said some selfish things. I had enough selfishness already. I told him to take a joke and leave.
2008 - He liked to talk. I liked to listen to him. I liked talking too. I liked he was listening to me as well. We did fun things together. He was still living with his ex girlfriend. I didn't like we couldn't do MORE things together. I spoke about how I felt. I guess he wasn't listening that well after all... In the end I got tired of waiting for him to make a decision so I made the decision to walk away.
2009 - what we call a work in progress. I'll pay close attention to the work and keep an eye out for the progress...